That Flappy Bastard
by AnimeAru
Summary: the nations discover flappy bird another collaborative work with my dear friend kolko :3


That Flappy Bastard

written by kolko braginski and animearu

disclaimer: we dont own hetalia, flappy bird, or monty python. enjoy.

Washington D.C., United States of America

America feverishly typed at his screen, his thumbs clicking menacingly. He glares at the screen. The television blares in the background. "FUCK YOU! NO! FUCK YOU YOU STUPID BIRD! FLY GODDAMMIT!" He screams, throwing down the phone so hard it cracks. "I HATE YOU!" He then pouts like a two year old in the corner.

"In other news, 7 people in total have committed suicide due to the popular iPhone game, Flappy Bird. It is now a widespread addiction..."

Italy smiled, he put down his phone. "High score! Yaaaaay!" cheered the Italian of the North.  
"Italy! What are you doing? We are supposed to be discussing a trade deal!" Germany scolded. Italy looked down.  
"Sorry Germany. This game is just so much fun!" said Italy.

"AAAHH! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU LITTLE FLAPPY BASTARDO!" Screams from the Southern half of Italy rang through the meeting room.

"What is wrong with him?" Germany asked. "It's this new game, flappy bird! It's so fun!" Italy said, he handed Germany his phone. "This looks dumb, Italy. But if you like it I suppose I could give it a try." He sighed. He took the phone and sat down to play

~~~~~~~~~~9 hours later~~~~~~~~~~

"VHAT ZHE HELL! YOU STUPID FAHKING! I VILL FUCKING TAKE YOUR BEAK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS YOU DUMMKOPF!"

"Germany! It's just a game!" Italy said.  
"SCHEIßE!"  
"Um...are we going to discuss the trade?" Italy said weakly.

"Come on..." Japan hit 172 on his iPhone game. Suddenly his phone rang "Moshi Moshi? This is japan, who is this?" He asks.  
"Fick dich!" the noise remarked in the background.

"Um…Japan?" Italy replied, "Germany got addicted to Flappy Bird and I need to know how to beat it!"  
"I don't know! I didn't invent this thing!" Japan snapped.  
"You didn't?!"  
"No! My high score may be 1592, but I am not the expert!"  
"Help meeee! Germany is angry I got a high score of 9971!" Italy screamed, presumably being tackled to the ground. "JAPAN! JAPAN! ROMANO IS ATTACKING ME! HELP MEEEEE!" The phone clicked off. Japan was suddenly terrified for Italy.

"I have called this meeting to discuss something very important" England said. "What the BLOODY HELL WE ARE GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS ATROCITY!" He shouted, throwing his phone down. High score 7.

"What are we talking about again?" Italy asked.  
"FLAPPY BIRD!" Everyone screamed.  
"What's Flappy Bird?" Russia asked. The room fell dead silent. Russia still had a smile on his face. "What?"  
"How do you not know what it is?!" France gaped.  
"I'm sorry, I don't get into video games much," he said.

"JAPAN DUDE THIS IS YOUR FAULT OF ALL YOUR VIDEO GAMES YOU COULD FUCKING MAKE YOU DID THIS THIS IS TOO HARD!" America shouted. "Hey now, leave my brother alone, aru!" China says, "I am sorry if my game is too difficult for you aru." Glares glowed to the old man.

"It was you?" France growled.  
"Obviously this was original Chinese creation aru. You westerners just don't get it," he boasted. Everybody then started jostling China and screaming at him. America's hands were now around his throat.

"OKAY…LIED!" China attempted to squeak out.  
"What did you say?" France snarled.  
"I was lying…I never actually created it aru!…" he gasped. America let go. China gasped for air.

"If you didn't create it, who did?!" France asked.  
"It's not his app says it was created in Vietnam." Russia grins. His dark aura is more menacing than usual.  
"Let's go beat the crap out of that bastard! FLAPPY BASTARDO!" Romano shouts, he jumps up from his seat and runs for the door, only to be held back by spain. "I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU!" He shouts.

"If we do this we have to do it properly" England says. He walks out of the room, then comes back a second later in a black hood and throws torches and pitchforks to everyone. "And then we burn her at the stake" he smirks. "WAIT JUST A FUCKING SECOND ANGLETERRE! ZHAT WAS OUT OF LINE!" France says. "Okay, no stake this time, frog! but we can still be an angry mob!" England decides. "WHY ARE VE STALLING! LETS KILL HER!" Germany shouts.

"Guys, don't you think you're being a little ridiculous? It is just a game!" Russia said. Everyone turned their head and glared in Russia's direction. Russia then began to shiver.

One trip to Vietnam later...

"I AM ARTHUR KING OF THE BRITONS! THIS IS AN ANGRY MOB! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" Vietnam stepped outside. Emotionless as usual.

"England, what the hell are you doing here. All of you? What's going on?" she asked.  
"KILL THE FLAPPY BASTARD!" A unanimous response shouted. "If this is about flappy bird... IN YOUR FACE!" She shouts, she holds up her phone. She has beaten the game.

"Oh, I did it too!" said Italy.  
"Good for you," she said, "You weren't consumed with the rage. You have found the true meaning of the game."

"What the hell is the true meaning bullshit?" France asked.  
"It was not meant to be an addiction. It was supposed to be a fun game for people to play on the bus. But there's so many suicides and it's now an addiction," she said, "I have gotten death threats. It has disrupted my peaceful life! People like you are why I regret this game. So I am going to make sure nobody bitches about the game ever again." A sudden whooshing sound and slight, short gusts of wind came around him.

"Vietnam-san, what are you do–" Japan looked up. Everyone else's head followed. A giant flappy bird whooshed above them. The bird them swallowed them all and flapped away.

"Good bye Flappy Bird. Goodbye FOREVER!"

The end.


End file.
